I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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