rhymes with "ouble enetration"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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