Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
