If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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