I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
