Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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