Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
