I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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