I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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