I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
