i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
sarcasm needs its own font
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
