What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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