ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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