I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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