Sacagawea was the original milf.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
