She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
These tits shall not be calmed
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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