My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
