is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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