Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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