he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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