Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
