i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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