this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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