the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
