I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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