some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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