she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
