oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
