Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
