told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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