I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
