He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
