His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
