omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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