I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
