Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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