Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Randomize
