That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
