Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
