i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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