coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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