I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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