btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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