Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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