Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
