I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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