So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
