he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
