This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
