i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
